Thanks to the Biden administration, satirical media outlets that identify as ‘news’ no longer have to be stereotyped by the binary pronoun ‘satire’. From this day forth we/us shall be biologically recognized as a truth-neutral ‘news’ outlet, and in conversation we/us shall be referred to using the truth-neutral identification word ‘news’.

We/us shall be able to publish our stories without worrying about whether or not they/it will be believed in homes, restrooms, locker rooms, or school sporting events. Our readers should be able to read our truth-neutral articles knowing that he/she/they will not be fired, demoted, or mistreated simply because he/she/they believe our articles to be real.

Sincerely,

Mx Pauly Graf, news satire editor