When aids reported to Joe Biden that the election had finally been certified, Joe picked up the phone and announced “Well I guess I’d better call up Trump and congratulate him”, and then began dialing. Joe’s nurse Jill Biden suddenly interjected “No! No!!!! You won! He’s supposed to call you!” Joe looked befuddled and said to nurse Jill “You’re a lyin’ dog-faced pony soldier”. After some coaxing, Jill was able to get Joe to put down the phone and have a few sips of hot porridge. Soon Joe became distracted by the music of Benny Goodman coming from his record player and forgot about the whole mixup.

ABOUT Bo Gus Mann

Bo is a tough guy from Brooklyn who doesn't care about anyone's feelings. If he offends you, don't even bother complaining. Due to his mob staus, we can never fire him. Bo has had many run-ins with the law and so he has learned to become a good liar. Anyway, that's why we hired him. We're fake news.